Anonymous Bench

June 17th, 2010

Chance encounter
Novelty gone
I sometimes don’t know who I am
But I don’t think
That those who have a secure life
Necessarily know better

Things are now more muddled in my head
Just like this murky green, gray water
In this calm harbor
Two meters ahead of me
Reflections on the water surface
Floating boats
Seagulls squeaking about nothing
An arbitrary church, standalone and tiny in the distance
Just a light green dome with a shiny golden tip
My red bicycle standing next to me, waiting, like a loyal horse
Quiet, Noiseless even when it moves
Like a glider
Only the sound of wind against the motion

Behind me
A runner just zoomed one way
Another, another way
I only heard their running steps
While I sit still
And write
And think
Think about what?
Has a lot of time really passed by?
So many years?
Is that possible
If only I can communicate with this curious-looking seagull
Walking by me
Graffiti on the bench I sit on
“M loves M”
Cigarette butts
Nice weather

I thought I knew something about this place
I thought I knew something about myself in this place
Insecurity means adventure, yes
Seagull just took a white shit
While it crossed in front of me

Life is a distraction
Train behind me breaks, it is nearing the station
Another bicycle whizzed by behind
I never turn around to see, I just hear

Mosquitoes are merciless now
Can they really love me so much?
That they try to creep from under my shirt
And suck my blood
Even risking their lives doing it?
What true passion

My nose is blocked
So that if you didn’t see me
If you just heard me
Or saw me from the back
Sitting alone on this bench
Facing the murky water
With my back to the path
And heard my watery nose draws
You may think I am crying

The best crying is the senseless one

Now it’s the tiny birds hopping by
Their chants come in groups sometimes

I often want to smile at strangers but can’t
I am too quiet
I have nothing to say

Life has taught me nothing
And I cannot change when I want to
Only when it wants to
And it doesn’t want to be tampered with
Something else is in control
I often long for cooperation from my own
Self versus self
I marvel at the extremities of my behavior

All my past girlfriends
No names mentioned
Silly huh
Guilt, agony, pain, fun, adventure, emptiness
Meaning and no meaning
Don’t trust a woman’s tears, Dostoevsky once said.
And can I trust my own feeling?

Ridicule is the best answer
And its sister satire

Are you a skeptic? A cynic?
About the big things, complex things, yes
But not about the little things
The little things are pure and uncorrupt and bring joy
Like the girl who just smiled at me
Like the little birds

Tags: Helsinki
Posted in Impressionism, Streams | No Comments »

Travel to Lost Places

February 4th, 2010

Fjords in Norway, appearing and disappearing amidst clouds, make one wonder if it was the mountains that ventured too far into sea or the water that pushed further inland. Or is this just nature dreaming?

Sprouting geysers in Iceland, where the venting ground itself is a dormant giant whale when not a volcano.

Travel offers an appreciation of nature’s marvels.

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The ancient city engraved in pink stone— Petra, symbols and tombs the size of mountains— the Pyramids, a lover’s eulogy— Taj Mahal, an art collection’s most reveled sanctuary– Hermitage, and a once despised entrance arch—Le Tour Eiffel.

Travel gives an appreciation of Man’s marvels.

Pilgrimage to holy places, Jerusalem, Lourdes, Mecca, Varanasi, catering to the mystical, the spiritual; magnificent temples immersed in gardens on precipices, often combining both nature’s and man’s marvels with a revered historical reference.

Travel enriches.

An adventure, a suspension of reality, an escape to an unknown place, sharing an intimate moment with a complete stranger that feels familiar, under a clear night sky on a Greek Island, skinny dipping, fearless and daring.

Travel reminds us that we are born free.

Travel with someone reveals truths, exposes other sides, tests our relationships.

Travel adds to a life’s experience.

Auschwitz, Hiroshima. Travel reminds us of the horror and madness that man is capable of inducing.

But that is not the travel I wish to talk about today.

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Tags: Israel, Palestine, Ramla, Ramleh, travel
Posted in Letters | 1 Comment »

Fasten Your Seat Belt Please

January 18th, 2010

At Queen Alia International Airport in Amman, Jordan, December 2009

“Final call for Royal Jordanian flight 267 to Montreal. Passengers are kindly requested to proceed to Gate number three immediately.”

I tucked away my laptop and lunged to the security check point before the gate. On my way I double-checked the flight departure monitor. It flashed: “RJ267 Gate3 Last Call.”

Right before the X-ray machine stood an airport security guard that checked passports and boarding passes. Upon seeing my pass he said: “Montreal not yet open. Please wait in the other lounge.”

“But they just made the announcement,” I said in Arabic. He simply smiled and gave me a blank look, then pointed to the lounge. There were a few people behind me. Most of the Arabic ones, having overheard my conversation with the officer, stepped out of the line and headed back to the outside lounge. A few Canadian ones continued to proceed to the gate. They were really confused when the officer again pointed them to the lounge. This was not the first time that this had happened. I suppose this is a system or a process issue. Just poor communication and coordination between airport personnel.

In any case, I was happy that I had managed to book a window seat. It is a long flight to Montreal and this would help me try to get some sleep. Boarding the plane, I walked towards my seat. The configuration of the seats were 2-4-2—aisle next to a window seat.

I spotted my seat, 31A and yes, it was vacant! What a delight. So many times in the past on Royal Jordanian someone would be in my seat, usually playing dumb and asking me to switch with his seat, which invariably would be a middle seat. So many times I had to fight for what was rightfully mine. Luckily, not this time.

A girl in veil sat on the aisle seat, 31B.

“Excuse me, I am sitting there,” I said to her with a courteous smile, pointing to the vacant window seat next to her.

Her face turned a bit red, she stood up but did not step to the side to let me in. Panic seemed to engulf her and she looked like she was fast cooking something in her head. She then looked at the man and woman sitting one row ahead and said:

“Excuse me. Are you ka-bel (couple)?”

The man and woman, who were non Arab, looked at each other, as if amused at the suggestiveness of the question, gave a brief smile, then said to the girl in veil “No.”

The girl in veil looked at the woman anxiously and said: “Do you mind sitting next to me. It’s a long flight you know.”

It all happened so fast that I only realized what was going on after the other lady had stood up, went to sit in my seat and gave me hers—which was an aisle seat.

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Tags: Arab travel, Arab Travel culture, Jordanian Palestinian culture, jordanian travel, RJ, Royal Jordanian, travel on Royal Jordanian
Posted in Letters | 7 Comments »

A Believer (Satirical Poem)

January 17th, 2010

Humans are such beautiful animals, artistic animals
They wonder and they appreciate
And as beautiful animals,
Were endowed with imagination to ideate
The ultimate beauty
All that you can be but can never be
They labored and enslaved to build the most beautiful,
Many a sanctuary
Creations that for the passing humans can only be a fantasy
Leave them in awe and wonder about reality

Almost unbelievable
Thousands of years ago
Symbols the size of mountains
Designed most artistic, the inconceivable
Façade carved out of pink stone, like magic
Erected magnificent columns and lifted beams on top of them
Without the aid of the hydraulic or the electric
Places to worship the intangible
Made them face the sun
Or watch over a running river
Or sky high on a precipice
Peak up to the clouds
And peer down over an abyss
Like Neuschwanstein

But humans were also unruly
They needed discipline and order
We could not always rely on a human being’s good will
To always do good
How to refrain the brazen when he becomes a brute

So humans designed religion as a solution
Inferno to those who don’t obey
And reward to those who follow the command of the day
And then some more intelligent humans
Were able to use this for their own power
And why can’t humans sell more religion
So new ones from old ones were to flower
Either unintentionally, a man who just preached goodness
Or intentionally,
One that wanted to instill a system of rules and principles
Politicians turned religions into polarizing systems
Are you one of them or one of us
Missionaries, conquistadores and militants

And so, what was supposed to be a solution
To curtail the problem
of the good and the evil in every human
Itself became a problem

Tags: human achievement, poem, religion
Posted in Expressionism | No Comments »

“The Middle East Conflict”: Mind Your Language!

November 23rd, 2009

It is inaccurate, distorting, even misleading, to call the conflict between the Palestinians and Israelis the “Middle East conflict” or the “Arab Israeli conflict,” especially in this time and day. At a minimum, Middle East includes Palestine, Israel, Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Bahrain, Qatar, and UAE. Other definitions may go further to include Libya, Iran, Pakistan and Afghanistan, but even if we stick to the smaller set of countries, the usage of this term can be problematic.

Jordan and Egypt had signed a peace treaty with Israel in 1994, they maintain diplomatic relations, and even before the peace treaties, relations between the governments of Jordan and Israel had been friendly. As far as Iraq is concerned, it is true that historically, Saddam’s Iraq had been in conflict with Israel, best exemplified in the onslaught of scud missiles in 1991 following the invasion of Kuwait. And about a decade earlier, Israeli air force had bombed Iraqi sites. Iraq had also supported the Palestinian resistance movements financially and politically. But since that time, and especially after 2003, Iraq has been very occupied with its own problems, so there is really no conflict between it and Israel.

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Tags: Arab, Arab-Israeli Conflict, Arab-Jews, Israeli, Jewish, Jews, Middle East Conflict, Mizrahi, Naming of Arab-Israeli Conflict, Palestinian-Israeli Conflict
Posted in Letters | 1 Comment »

The Forecast: Blood and Olives

November 2nd, 2009

A detached, unemotional analysis of the Palestinian-Israeli conflict must conclude that Palestinians in particular, and Arabs in general have demonstrated little, if any power to influence Israel to end its illegal occupation, end the siege on Gaza, halt construction of the segregation wall, and dismantle the settlements. A quick stroll in recent history offers ample proof.

The first intifada in 1987 may have won world sympathy towards the Palestinian cause and exposed Israel’s immorality and brutality. It also put a dent in Israel’s tourism and services sector. But the outcome was an imploded Oslo Peace Process which did not, even in the letter of the agreement let alone in action, yield to any of the Palestinian’s rights, rights already recognized by the UN and the International Community. The only outcome was a bland recognition by Israel of the PLO, while on the land, the expansion of settlements went into high gear under Rabin. In the words of Edward Said, the “Intifada was squandered.”

The second intifada, an understandable outburst of a suppressed people, at a high cost in life and material did not bring the Palestinians any closer to realizing even the slightest of their aspirations.

The Saudi-inspired peace plan, adopted by the Arab Summit in Beirut in 2002, was completely ignored by Israel and the U.S.

So it warrants to stop and ask: Where is all this leading to?

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Tags: Israeli Palestinian Conflict, Israeli Palestinian conflict forecast
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One Thousand Years Ago We Were Better

October 22nd, 2009

I recently read the following in the Economist (July 23rd, 2009 issue):
“The total manufacturing exports of the entire Arab world have recently been below those of the Philippines (with less than one-third the population) or Israel (with a population not much bigger than Riyadh’s). From 1980 to 2000 Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Kuwait, the United Arab Emirates, Syria and Jordan between them registered 367 patents in the United States. Over the same period South Korea alone registered 16,328 and Israel 7,652.”

Depressing as it may sound, so long as I can remember, there has been little if any achievement in the Arab world, whether economic, technological, political, social, or cultural (with the exception of a few isolated cases in the UAE). This is confirmed by similar reports that show very little progress in the last twenty years, while much of the developing world including India, China and Brazil took a big leap forward. So I started to question whether, as a people, we have what it takes.

Is it that we are inherently lazy? Is it due to certain aspects of our culture? Bad habits? To what extent is it a problem of leadership? Internal divisions? How much has foreign intervention and imperialism negatively affected our progress? Naturally each of these questions warrants extensive research beyond the scope of this article.

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Tags: Arabs, conservatism, islam, islam golden age, lack of progress, Progress
Posted in Letters | 2 Comments »

What’s Your Name?

October 18th, 2009

When I went to get my Jordanian military exemption more than a decade ago, I knew of the long lines and the bureaucracy that I had to battle. I was also familiar with people cutting in line, the selfishness and lack of consideration for each other, exemplified best in the way people drive, (something I became more painfully conscious of after leaving Amman and coming back to it.) But that day at the government agency marked my first encounter with a repeating pattern in Jordanian society, a pattern I would encounter in different forms.

While I was left waiting in line till what felt like eternity, I remember the conversation between the officer and the other guy ahead of me:

“What’s your name?” the officer said.

“Majed.”

“Majed what?”

“Majed Salam.”

“Salam from Jerusalem or Fheys?”

“Fheys.”

For a few moments, the officer’s eyes gazed into vacuum then he snapped back.

“How does Mohammed Salam relate to you?”

“My father’s uncle.”

“Oh! Great! Have a seat. Have a seat. Tea or coffee?”

“Thank you but I’m in a hurry, I have to…”

“Your uncle is a great man. Imad!” he yelled out the door. A service guy popped up.

“Coffee or tea?”

“I really must-”

“Imad, bring us Arabic coffee.”

“You ‘ll love it. You have to taste our coffee. So tell me, how is your uncle? How can we serve you?” The officer turned back to Majed.

When I finally got my turn, the officer’s eyes did gaze in wonder upon hearing my name – his brain must have been working at full capacity, searching all his mental databases – but apparently he could not form any connection, any name mapping. I was not offered tea or coffee. I also seemed to have to do many more steps before completing my transaction.

That was a long time ago and we’re supposed to have reduced the level of bureaucracy in our government departments. But this incident marks something different.

Often I would hear housewives discussing eligible or ineligible men for their daughters: His father is no good. His parents are janitors. Low class. High class, Nobility. Jordanian. Palestinian. Christian. Moslem.

We live in a culture where the foreground fades and the background is all that matters.

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Tags: culture in amman, jordan, meritocracy
Posted in Letters | 6 Comments »

L’amour

October 10th, 2009

…An intense positive energy that one feels towards another person or persons that leads to positive acts and behaviors such as courage, generosity, sacrifice. It is ecstasy, a celebration of humanity. A feeling that there is meaning to life, a purpose.

Tags: definition of love, l'amour, love
Posted in Expressionism | No Comments »

What is Most Important?

October 9th, 2009

What could be the most important thing in life? Happiness? Truth? Goodness? Beauty?
Or are Truth, Goodness, Beauty means to Happiness?
Finding the one all encompassing meaning of existence, the state of the mind, reality. The search. Curiosity. Reaching to the very depths of science, making all the connections. What is that intelligent design?
What does it mean to exist and what does it mean to be alive.
The satisfaction of the ego.
When the mind discovers something, solves a major problem, neurotransmitters in the brain cause the person to feel happy. Intellectual happiness. But then the torturous Why… Meaning searches for reasons.

Hedonistic happiness. Most attractive women, wild sex, the feeling of being desired, wanted. Hormones. Food. Feed the human machine with its physical needs.

Society’s praise and admiration. Glamour. Vanity..

Life’s comforts – a beautiful house, a nice view of the sea, convenience, luxury. Fussiness, being pampered. Being served.
Physical freedom. Psychological freedom.

Beauty: art. Transcendental, impalpable. No end. No reason given. Just is. An offspring of human idiosyncrasy. Perhaps the burning human need for expression. Shared.

The occupation with the trivial. The concern, sometimes real and imagined with success. Fears. Insecurities. Stagnation. Lack of fulfillment. Loss.

Genetic propagation-
I look at my son – when I die he will live on, he will live on my behalf, he will fullfil what I have not, achieve what I could not, then his children, I guess a piece of me will still be there, but how much of me will be in their children’s children, and if anything, do I want them to carry a certain pride that they are the descendants of so and so? Tribalism. What value is this stupid pride going to leave, and in any case, will I in any genetic capacity or sentimental one be really there.

Tags: Beauty, existentialism, Goodness, Happiness, meaning, Truth
Posted in Streams | No Comments »

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