Archive for the ‘Letters’ Category

The Insignificant Other

Saturday, December 25th, 2010


Thirteen point seven billion years, the age of the universe. One planet out of billions we live in. One of seven billion people on earth, I am, and counting. Millions will be delivered today, millions will end today.

An infinitesimal spec, I am.

Act I:Enter life, push, push, push – mother spread on hospital bed screaming, baby in shock crying the very first breath, and counting.

Act III: Leave life – another pain, more lasting for the temporary survivors until they make their own exit.

And the in-between part. The living and trying, the giving up or not giving up part, the failures and burstings of the fantasy bubbles, the growing old and weary and alone part, the not understanding anything part, the memories that stubbornly refuse to fade, the expectations that refuse to wane. The futility of all endeavor. Inequities, war, disease, famine, torture, injustice – just trivial affairs of some species on some planet which looks peaceful from a distance, as everything does.

Living life – another pain… The good news – we can hide sadness but we can’t hide happiness. And happiness, like laughter, can be contagious.

I am so insignificant, yet I am the observer, whoever this I am is. Is it a dull movie, a good movie, this life? Mister or misses, actor observer or just never there sir. Without my consciousness – the lenses and auditory devices in my head – tainted and necessarily corrupted, but still, without my own consciousness, there would be nothing.

I am surrounded by many people. I am alone. It is just the hiss and hum between my ears. Otherwise, a constant absence from a fleeting present.

I am the sleep walker, the conditioned. Pavlov’s dog. Deterministic and probabilistic at once.
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Travel to Lost Places

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

Fjords in Norway, appearing and disappearing amidst clouds, make one wonder if it was the mountains that ventured too far into sea or the water that pushed further inland. Or is this just nature dreaming?

Sprouting geysers in Iceland, where the venting ground itself is a dormant giant whale when not a volcano.

Travel offers an appreciation of nature’s marvels.

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The ancient city engraved in pink stone— Petra, symbols and tombs the size of mountains— the Pyramids, a lover’s eulogy— Taj Mahal, an art collection’s most reveled sanctuary– Hermitage, and a once despised entrance arch—Le Tour Eiffel.

Travel gives an appreciation of Man’s marvels.

Pilgrimage to holy places, Jerusalem, Lourdes, Mecca, Varanasi, catering to the mystical, the spiritual; magnificent temples immersed in gardens on precipices, often combining both nature’s and man’s marvels with a revered historical reference.

Travel enriches.

An adventure, a suspension of reality, an escape to an unknown place, sharing an intimate moment with a complete stranger that feels familiar, under a clear night sky on a Greek Island, skinny dipping, fearless and daring.

Travel reminds us that we are born free.

Travel with someone reveals truths, exposes other sides, tests our relationships.

Travel adds to a life’s experience.

Auschwitz, Hiroshima. Travel reminds us of the horror and madness that man is capable of inducing.

But that is not the travel I wish to talk about today.

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Fasten Your Seat Belt Please

Monday, January 18th, 2010

At Queen Alia International Airport in Amman, Jordan, December 2009

“Final call for Royal Jordanian flight 267 to Montreal. Passengers are kindly requested to proceed to Gate number three immediately.”

I tucked away my laptop and lunged to the security check point before the gate. On my way I double-checked the flight departure monitor. It flashed: “RJ267 Gate3 Last Call.”

Right before the X-ray machine stood an airport security guard that checked passports and boarding passes. Upon seeing my pass he said: “Montreal not yet open. Please wait in the other lounge.”

“But they just made the announcement,” I said in Arabic. He simply smiled and gave me a blank look, then pointed to the lounge. There were a few people behind me. Most of the Arabic ones, having overheard my conversation with the officer, stepped out of the line and headed back to the outside lounge. A few Canadian ones continued to proceed to the gate. They were really confused when the officer again pointed them to the lounge. This was not the first time that this had happened. I suppose this is a system or a process issue. Just poor communication and coordination between airport personnel.

In any case, I was happy that I had managed to book a window seat. It is a long flight to Montreal and this would help me try to get some sleep. Boarding the plane, I walked towards my seat. The configuration of the seats were 2-4-2—aisle next to a window seat.

I spotted my seat, 31A and yes, it was vacant! What a delight. So many times in the past on Royal Jordanian someone would be in my seat, usually playing dumb and asking me to switch with his seat, which invariably would be a middle seat. So many times I had to fight for what was rightfully mine. Luckily, not this time.

A girl in veil sat on the aisle seat, 31B.

“Excuse me, I am sitting there,” I said to her with a courteous smile, pointing to the vacant window seat next to her.

Her face turned a bit red, she stood up but did not step to the side to let me in. Panic seemed to engulf her and she looked like she was fast cooking something in her head. She then looked at the man and woman sitting one row ahead and said:

“Excuse me. Are you ka-bel (couple)?”

The man and woman, who were non Arab, looked at each other, as if amused at the suggestiveness of the question, gave a brief smile, then said to the girl in veil “No.”

The girl in veil looked at the woman anxiously and said: “Do you mind sitting next to me. It’s a long flight you know.”

It all happened so fast that I only realized what was going on after the other lady had stood up, went to sit in my seat and gave me hers—which was an aisle seat.

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“The Middle East Conflict”: Mind Your Language!

Monday, November 23rd, 2009

It is inaccurate, distorting, even misleading, to call the conflict between the Palestinians and Israelis the “Middle East conflict” or the “Arab Israeli conflict,” especially in this time and day. At a minimum, Middle East includes Palestine, Israel, Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Bahrain, Qatar, and UAE. Other definitions may go further to include Libya, Iran, Pakistan and Afghanistan, but even if we stick to the smaller set of countries, the usage of this term can be problematic.

Jordan and Egypt had signed a peace treaty with Israel in 1994, they maintain diplomatic relations, and even before the peace treaties, relations between the governments of Jordan and Israel had been friendly. As far as Iraq is concerned, it is true that historically, Saddam’s Iraq had been in conflict with Israel, best exemplified in the onslaught of scud missiles in 1991 following the invasion of Kuwait. And about a decade earlier, Israeli air force had bombed Iraqi sites. Iraq had also supported the Palestinian resistance movements financially and politically. But since that time, and especially after 2003, Iraq has been very occupied with its own problems, so there is really no conflict between it and Israel.

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The Forecast: Blood and Olives

Monday, November 2nd, 2009

A detached, unemotional analysis of the Palestinian-Israeli conflict must conclude that Palestinians in particular, and Arabs in general have demonstrated little, if any power to influence Israel to end its illegal occupation, end the siege on Gaza, halt construction of the segregation wall, and dismantle the settlements. A quick stroll in recent history offers ample proof.

The first intifada in 1987 may have won world sympathy towards the Palestinian cause and exposed Israel’s immorality and brutality. It also put a dent in Israel’s tourism and services sector. But the outcome was an imploded Oslo Peace Process which did not, even in the letter of the agreement let alone in action, yield to any of the Palestinian’s rights, rights already recognized by the UN and the International Community. The only outcome was a bland recognition by Israel of the PLO, while on the land, the expansion of settlements went into high gear under Rabin. In the words of Edward Said, the “Intifada was squandered.”

The second intifada, an understandable outburst of a suppressed people, at a high cost in life and material did not bring the Palestinians any closer to realizing even the slightest of their aspirations.

The Saudi-inspired peace plan, adopted by the Arab Summit in Beirut in 2002, was completely ignored by Israel and the U.S.

So it warrants to stop and ask: Where is all this leading to?

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One Thousand Years Ago We Were Better

Thursday, October 22nd, 2009

I recently read the following in the Economist (July 23rd, 2009 issue):
“The total manufacturing exports of the entire Arab world have recently been below those of the Philippines (with less than one-third the population) or Israel (with a population not much bigger than Riyadh’s). From 1980 to 2000 Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Kuwait, the United Arab Emirates, Syria and Jordan between them registered 367 patents in the United States. Over the same period South Korea alone registered 16,328 and Israel 7,652.”

Depressing as it may sound, so long as I can remember, there has been little if any achievement in the Arab world, whether economic, technological, political, social, or cultural (with the exception of a few isolated cases in the UAE). This is confirmed by similar reports that show very little progress in the last twenty years, while much of the developing world including India, China and Brazil took a big leap forward. So I started to question whether, as a people, we have what it takes.

Is it that we are inherently lazy? Is it due to certain aspects of our culture? Bad habits? To what extent is it a problem of leadership? Internal divisions? How much has foreign intervention and imperialism negatively affected our progress? Naturally each of these questions warrants extensive research beyond the scope of this article.

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What’s Your Name?

Sunday, October 18th, 2009

When I went to get my Jordanian military exemption more than a decade ago, I knew of the long lines and the bureaucracy that I had to battle. I was also familiar with people cutting in line, the selfishness and lack of consideration for each other, exemplified best in the way people drive, (something I became more painfully conscious of after leaving Amman and coming back to it.) But that day at the government agency marked my first encounter with a repeating pattern in Jordanian society, a pattern I would encounter in different forms.

While I was left waiting in line till what felt like eternity, I remember the conversation between the officer and the other guy ahead of me:

“What’s your name?” the officer said.

“Majed.”

“Majed what?”

“Majed Salam.”

“Salam from Jerusalem or Fheys?”

“Fheys.”

For a few moments, the officer’s eyes gazed into vacuum then he snapped back.

“How does Samir Salam relate to you?”

“My father’s uncle.”

“Oh! Great! Have a seat. Have a seat. Tea or coffee?”

“Thank you but I’m in a hurry, I have to…”

“Your uncle is a great man. Imad!” he yelled out the door. A service guy popped up.

“Coffee or tea?”

“I really must-”

“Imad, bring us Arabic coffee.”

“You ‘ll love it. You have to taste our coffee. So tell me, how is your uncle? How can we serve you?” The officer turned back to Majed.

When I finally got my turn, the officer’s eyes did gaze in wonder upon hearing my name – his brain must have been working at full capacity, searching all his mental databases – but apparently he could not form any connection, any name mapping. I was not offered tea or coffee. I also seemed to have to do many more steps before completing my transaction.

That was a long time ago and we’re supposed to have reduced the level of bureaucracy in our government departments. But this incident marks something different.

Often I would hear housewives discussing eligible or ineligible men for their daughters: His father is no good. His parents are janitors. Low class. High class, Nobility. Jordanian. Palestinian. Christian. Moslem.

We live in a culture where the foreground fades and the background is all that matters.

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Letter Sent to Hillary Clinton

Thursday, January 15th, 2009

January 15, 2009

Dear Mrs. Clinton,
First of all, congratulations! We look forward to your leadership in international affairs, which brings me to my point:

As you may be aware by now, according to the UN, after 20 days the Israeli assault on Gaza has killed more than a thousand Palestinians and injured more than 4000. Half of all Palestinians killed and injured are civilian, one third of all killed and injured children. Try to imagine the misery of all those families with children ridden in bullets, their homes destroyed. What do they have left to live for?

Thirteen Israelis were killed in this attack, ten of which are soldiers and a few of those by friendly fire. While the intent is there, obviously Hamas is not closely capable of causing significant damage on Israelis, but Israel must defend itself by killing over a thousand and remains excused. If Hamas is guilty of intent to kill and terrorize, Israel is actually doing the killing at a massive genocidal scale. The difference between the two sides is even more vast than an intent to murder and a first degree murder. A truly independent observer that is genuinely interested in doing the greater good would look to stop the party doing the greater harm – and by a great disproportionate measure, the party doing most of the killing, especially of innocent people and children.

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Superficial Tips

Friday, June 20th, 2008

If you’re a girl that likes to get drunk and have a one night stand, better go to his place than yours – that way if you get a scare when u see his face upon waking up you can just slide out asap- imagine him lingering all day at your place introducing himself to all your roomates + knowing where you live for cute surprise visits.

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Letters Between A Palestinian and A Jew

Tuesday, October 10th, 2006

(caution this is long)

Eric,
I feel at a standstill. I am not moving forward. Career is only there to make money, to satisfy a standard of living, but in my case at least, is not the reason for my living. Though it consumes time, yes, and we may say causes distraction, these are only self-generated excuses. I really want to express subjects, before the run of time. As a Palestinian I feel my intelligence insulted, and who better than by myself. I would like to occasion the expression of my views to you as a Jew.

I think if we start a written ad hoc, non formal dialogue; spontaneous but converging upon a common theme, uncensored, and most importantly ongoing, it could form the basis for a study/a book, etc… We will keep it intellectual, creative and spiritual though it may swim in passionate tides. (If you wish, we could also modify the rules of engagement as we move forward in this process and as we see fit.)

I have known you as a friend who I have more in common with and enjoy the company of than possibly many Palestinian or Arab friends, not that I care either way for that purpose. I’ve had the opportunity to live most of my life amidst different cultures and developed a taste for picking certain elements from those cultures that I valued. Though I say this, and even though we are most likely (at least at this point in time) equally cynical of our own camps, in a situation of war we could be neighbors like some congenial Serbs and Kosovars, and find ourselves thoughtlessly pointing our guns against one another. It is unfortunate that we humans, with all of our ingenious unimaginable progress have not figured out a formula for peaceful coexistence or to what, in some processes of evolution have resulted in symbiosis instead of predator prey structure. Using the word “human” to aggregate the collective suffering of humans at the hands of other humans is rather over simplified and superficial for it assumes human more as a scientific, biological entity and leaves the cultural, historical and emotional elements out of the picture. This would be an obvious mistake to make from the preset.

I am not a politician and I don’t care to win people from my camp over, for egoistic purposes or otherwise. The emotionally charged and often whimsical herd mentality thoroughly disgusts me anyway. Chanting behind the slogans of a leader… And herd mentality afflicts crafty and brilliant people alike. If history was taught correctly, then we may have had to endure less of war because people would find out that the same slogans and arguments are equally used by your “enemy”. Though it is not a zero sum game from a humanistic perspective. The stronger wins that which the weaker is not able to defend. Until a point when the despair of the weak, very often in a reactionary mode, stops differentiating between life and death.

I say on one point I remain unquestionably clear and firm and beyond any shred of a reasonable doubt: taking someone else’s country, kicking its people out and setting up a new one in its place is unimaginable and in the very least repugnantly condemnable. Though I say I am Palestinian I’ve never lived in Palestine as my family was driven out of its home together with hundreds of thousands of other families in 1948. I was one of the fortunate ones who did not end up as a refugee and who’d received the opportunity to education and career and lifestyle. In fact many Palestinians would probably reproach me – the ones in the occupied territories, Gaza and refugee camps have suffered and endured and still suffer even more and that’s not including the feeling of humiliation and constant repression by Israel . Though I imagine, read and hear about it and deeply sour over it, I was never really put to the grind. I can imagine the feeling of being in a prison camp as the people in the West Bank and Gaza feel. And then the feeling of unpredictability which never leaves the soul to rest. Air strikes, military incursions, curfews (which mean basically: rush like ants to do your last minute shopping, get yourself and your children in the house and if you come out of the house after a certain hour risk being shot [half of the Palestinians killed by Israel in 2006 were civilian – The Economist, Jan 2007]. We may hit the power generators in Gaza as we often do and leave all you 1.2 million people in the dark at night and allow your food to spoil after a few days without refrigeration, oh and oops sorry no water either because – forgot (or actually I knew) that water requires pumping and pumps require electricity. Ya usually we do targeted killings but now we are employing the “G” thing.. you know it’s actually group or collective punishment but that doesn’t sound too cool…”) My friend in Gaza has four kids who live in fear. He tells me that his three year old is afraid to go to the bathroom alone even in broad daylight. I read that there are serious psychological problems inflicting Palestinian teenagers and some are peeing in their pants at night. Just the idea of having one’s home bulldozed is revolting! I don’t know how I would cope…

I read about the business side of things – here you have a normal business man interested in nothing more than money and economic growth waiting for his goods at check points for weeks until Israel decides to release them (as has been reported). In reality because of this, Palestinians are more inclined to buy their goods from Israel , even at a premium, to mitigate business risk and unpredictability. The very fundamental to business involves the transfer of goods, people, money and information. The first two are usually obstructed and the level to which they are obstructed gets worse with time, and the third one has also been stifled recently. Israel has also stopped the transfer of money to the Palestinians. If the Palestinian economy was a man, that man is being chocked at the neck with goring claws.

I can see the look of a Palestinian teacher so frustrated to see children not being able to attend school because of closures or bombings or because of rioting – her kids are in the streets throwing stones instead of heeding education, most probably the one thing left for them to improve their futures…

I once met a Palestinian man in Athens, Greece – a grey haired forty year old. He had just survived the sinking of the boat in which he was smuggled from Turkey to Greece . There were twenty people on the boat trying to get into Greece by being smuggled from Turkey and all died except him and another one. “I swam three kilometers to get to shore.” He looked quite skinny but was not the hot-blooded type. Actually very well presented. He had a bachelor of engineering degree from a German university and spoke German but finally ended up in Syria and the only way out was by being “trafficked”. Soon I learnt that he spent 6 months in Jail in Turkey for getting caught at some point. Why this fate? It is mainly because of being born a Palestinian: you never get status or a passport if you were transplanted to Syria , Egypt , Lebanon or Kuwait . There are about three million Palestinian refugees scattered over these countries and Jordan . Except for Jordan , these countries take the “noble” high-ground stance and flex and posture to say that as we don’t recognize Israel and do not accept what it has done to you, you need to go back to your country. If we grant you citizenship in our countries then it means that we have accepted Israel ’s actions against you.” As a result, virtually all of these refugees (except the ones that went to Jordan ) and their first and second generation offsprings have been stateless – some for more than fifty years – and without hope of getting normal citizenship. In all practicality, and arguably understandably so, it is often the case that the hosting country feels sorry for the refugees it embraces but is also annoyed by them as they could cause trouble and also sap the resources of their usually ailing economies.

And the story only gets worse inside the refugee camps.

While I respect all people in general, including Jewish people, and I enjoy the friendship of Jews, respect the achievement of others in their rank, also incidentally find quite some similarities with Palestinians and Arabs, I cannot as a human first and Palestinian second, I cannot but condemn and stand in opposition to Israel. It also appears that while there are decent people in both camps and perhaps equally indecent ones in both on an individual basis, in my opinion Israel as a democratic nation has been a hypocrite and an abuser, a lawless (from the perspective of international law and UN conventions) ruthless and brutal occupier doing all in its power to sustain an apartheid state. Even Nelson Mandela occasions to express a view of Palestinian condition equal to and worse than the state of blacks in South Africa at the height of the apartheid. At least at every juncture in recent history things kept taking a turn to the worse for Palestinians at the hands of Israel. In my opinion one of the diseases inflicting Israel is power: power corrupts regardless of culture or religion. I believe that if Palestinians were the stronger party perhaps they will be no more merciful to their opponent. I just regard this as a socio-psychological phenomenon that afflicts humans in general.

Sorry if all this bears heavy – but there is no way to avoid the heavy stuff. I just thought it important to give you a sense of what often simmers inside my head, not so much from an intellectual perspective but from a lower level humanistic one. This also doesn’t address how I feel about the “Western” and particularly “American” media’s portrayal of Palestinians and Arabs. It is also misleading to use the label “American” media because it is my belief (and if compelled would offer supporting evidence) that especially on certain topics, the media in the US is not democratic, not representative and not impartial – though arguably one might say there is no such thing as objectivity in any media: it is just inherently impossible. Nevertheless, it is still worthy of mention that American media is infested with spin doctors and demagogues appearing to speak on behalf of the “American people”. The Palestinian Israeli conflict is taken out of context. The concept of the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth is really trampled upon. The principle has been supplanted with selective truths.

What I would like to ask you at this point, if you don’t mind me doing so, is an open ended question. How do you feel about the Israeli/Palestinian issue and the Palestinian people in general, given that as I’ve known you, you are not a self-hating Jew. You’ve expressed to me your sense of connection with the Jewish culture and heritage and feel a sense of kinship with Jewish communities.

In your reply, please take the liberty to express any varying points of view of Israelis and Jews on the matter and adopt different sides of the political spectrum, though some you may not subscribe to yourself. Discuss at length as you may wish and if you want to avoid the topic all together and talk about something else – including any progress in Chess – then by all means;)

Sincerely
Ziad

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Ziad,

Your views on Israel are matched for the most part with mine. But it is hard for me because I am Jewish to face certain things without some defensiveness. I hope you can understand that. I grew up in a family that never questioned zionism. They probably still don’t. I’m the one who has been most critical, the one who wasn’t willing to say that we as jews are superior.

Interesting aside, the other night I went to shul for the mourner’s kadish (prayer). You know that I’m an atheist, but I go because I feel that if someone is mourning and my attendence at the service, which requires 10 jewish men, helps then I’m creating good karma. After the Hebrew part of the service the rabbi was discussing some rules regarding lost property and how the torah addresses what to do when you find something. The rules are different if you find something that belongs to a non-Jew!!!! I was stunned, and when I raised the question of how that can be the response I got was that Jews should treat other jews differently than they treat non-Jews. There is more to it, but you get the idea. Well, I’m not gonna buy that load of crap. That is an exact example of what is wrong with organized religion; superiority in gods eyes.

I’m honored that you took the time to write such a thought provoking letter, and I have huge respect for how you address your observations.

What do you want to do about these observations?????

Now, to reply to your open ended question on what I feel about the Israel/Palestine conflict and the Palestinian people in general, here goes.

I believe that Israel has tried it’s very best from day one to break the Palestinians of hope. I believe that going back to the inception of Israeli statehood with people like Jabotinskiy and Ben-Gurion, that the indigenous Arab population was seen as an obstacle to Israeli and Jewish hold of all of Israel, and I don’t know if anything has changed since.

The conflict pisses me off because it’s filled with shady characters who represent things that are anathema to progress, and nothing really gives me a sense of hope. I can’t begin to imagine what life in Gaza must be like. It is a tiny place that is essentially being suffocated from the outside world. They have no real natural resources, their daily existence is one of chaos and violence, and the world ignores it. That is what i mean about taking the victim status. Israel’s welfare is not being threatened by the Gazans who fire missiles. To say that Israel’s armaments are superior to those of the Palestinians is an understatement of mega proportions.

Best regards,

Eric

(Eric Silverman can be reached at eric.silverman@yahoo.com)